A Creative Journey: Overcoming Burnout and Rediscovering Your Passion
Black and White Self Portrait
I’ve always been a dreamer, an observer of the world, perceiving its beauty in ways that others often miss. When I first picked up a film camera, it felt like discovering a kindred spirit. The moment I saw the developed photographs, I realised that the images I captured perfectly mirrored the way I’ve always seen the world. The colours, the tones, the emotions . This newfound connection ignited a passion within me to explore the world and capture its beauty, chasing the same emotions, colours, and light that had always captivated me.
I pursued my passion for photography with relentless determination, juggling a demanding apprenticeship at school and at a photo studio with the financial realities of life. To supplement my income, I took on a part-time job on the weekend in a nightclub, a seemingly unrelated path that would unexpectedly shape my future. A future that I now feel so disconnect to.
Small moments with lights in a flight
After graduating, I moved to London, a city teeming with creative energy and endless possibilities. However, the harsh realities of life in a foreign city forced me to prioritise survival over passion. I took on a full-time bartending job in the meantime I was building my side photography gig but this choice eventually led me down the path of taking a career that put me into many managerial positions making me feel comfortable and safe with my situation.
For the next 10 years, I navigated the fast-paced world of hospitality, juggling 60+ hour weeks, demanding customers, and the constant pressure to perform. While I enjoyed the creativity involved in crafting cocktails and the fun I had with my colleagues, the relentless grind began to take a toll on my mental and emotional well-being. Years of relentless work had drained my creativity. I felt burnt out, devoid of inspiration. The vibrant colours of the world I once saw had faded into a monotonous grey. The once-inspiring city, filled with talented artists and creatives, now seemed like a constant reminder of my own unfulfilled dreams and aspirations.
I was afraid to take the leap, to embrace the uncertainty. But I knew that I couldn’t continue living a life that didn’t fulfil me.
Skater on Venice Beach during Sunset hours
When I finally quit my job and attempted to reconnect with my passion for photography, I faced a significant challenge.
Failure.
The fear of failure, the doubt in my abilities, the years of neglect had left my creative spark almost non-existent. It was as if my body and mind had forgotten how to create. What did it mean to be creative?
For the first six months, I struggled to pick up my camera. I just couldn’t be bothered, the simple act of composing a shot felt overwhelming.
I was grappling with a deep sense of burnout, a weariness that seeped into every aspect of my life. It was as if my soul had been stripped bare, leaving me feeling empty and lost. My therapist suggested I turn to meditation and gentle yoga, hoping to find solace and clarity. I felt the weight of society screaming at me, telling me to give up on my dreams, that they weren’t for me. I was meant to follow the crowd, to be just another number.
2 empty chairs on a very busy Notting Hill Road
Through perseverance and a lot of self-compassion, I slowly began to rediscover myself. I started with small steps, taking short walks in nature, practicing mindfulness, and gently easing back into photography. Each small moment has been a victory, each captured moment felt a step closer to being me.
This journey of self-discovery has been a painful yet rewarding process. It has taught me the importance of committing to embracing uncertainty, discomfort, and the unknown, as well as prioritising mental health, setting boundaries, and saying no to the demands of others.
It has also taught me the power of perseverance, the importance of self-belief, and the enduring nature of the human spirit.
And as I continue to explore the depths of my soul, I hope to inspire others to do the same.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or feeling lost, please reach out for help.
NHS Mental Health Services: nhs.uk/mental-health
Mind: mind.org.uk
Samaritans: samaritans.org
CALM: calm.org.uk
You are not alone.